Exhale

A sick day.
So rare and not as productive as I would have imagined. Hoped for.
Unless we're keeping tab on the amount of phlegm expelled from my body.

Ha.

I once again have to face myself - I have time to do things, to think things, to accomplish.
And I get the sense that nothing is happening.
I try to cast blame and assign the reasons to something; someone.

Like me: Berating self for not being driven enough, organized enough, concerned enough. Cowed into littleness by what I see happening in the lives of those around me instead of uplifted and spurred onwards.

Don't get me wrong; I am not living in an hourly constant of pity. I see that good which can be drawn from not doing anything. From the still, the slow.
Truth be told, I am a huge fan of this mindset and am in a continuum of finding ways to implement my lifestyle with simple and peace.

And today, not all had been in vain. I, who am noted for being positive in thinking & outlook:

.: watering the plants because I had time to notice
.: watching the light throughout the day find it's way across my bed; across the yard
.: reading. not much really, yet the Word in Romans fourteen...enough for awhile
.: grateful for stretching and dancing and remembering
.: seeing my mum & sister more as they move in & out through their day
.: knowing that getting better today will be more enjoyable with the beloveds tomorrow

I seek to pull myself up by my bootstraps and recognize again that I would get though none of these days without the people and the spaces between people, when I am left (purposefully or inadvertently) to the graces of silence and my senses.

Thank God for family in whatever context it finds you.
Thank God for community; people who pull you out of yourself.
Thank God for hope instilled by the reflecting, the dreaming & the affirmation of both.
Thank God for coming to the end of a day & taking a deep breath again.

It's time to exhale.